February 21, 2002
If it痴 been feeling warmer lately, thank the jet stream, but much of that hot air may be the harbinger of another election season on the way.
Sure, it痴 only February and we池e still recovering from the holidays, but it痴 never too early to start campaigning, and while we池e at it, maybe it痴 time to grab some Christmas ornaments.
The noble, selfless and dedicated troops of the Florida Legislature are hard at work solving all our social and economic problems in Tallahassee, though, so it痴 wrong to question their motives or competence to gain another term on the gravy train.
And if you believe that, I can get you a deal on a nice bridge connecting Brooklyn and Manhattan.
I recently encountered a signature gatherer for the many constitutional amendments interest groups are seeking to get on the ballot in November. While there were some interesting issues under discussion, the ones I wanted to see weren稚 there.
If I were proposing amendments, I壇 want one that banned politicians or candidates from disrupting the school day to be photographed reading to children. Then I壇 take aim at politicians or candidates who try to be photographed next to children holding flags.
My final amendment would be to require that all elected officials show some respect for their positions by not proposing nonsense legislation. We have enough symbolic gestures on the books now, and our legislators� time is too valuable to waste on proposed laws that fit into the mania of some back-bencher.
A good case in point is a story that came across the Associated Press wire about a legislator in Georgia, Dorothy Pelote. Now this one痴 a piece of work, though of course in Volusia County there痴 one who has encounters with UFOs, so maybe we in Florida shouldn稚 be pointing fingers.
Anyway, Pelote has, in the past, claimed that she is in touch with the spirit of Chandra Levy, has proposed laws requiring that schoolchildren keep their fingernails trimmed and that supermarket baggers not lick their fingers.
Obviously, she belongs in the bughouse, not the statehouse.
Her latest brilliancy is a law she was thinking of introducing that would ban answering the door naked.
She says it痴 a major problem, and what if a child rings a doorbell and someone answers the door in the altogether? Nowadays, any legislation that mentions children and protection in the same paragraph has a mesmerizing effect on legislators, and I imagine it would pass quickly if proposed.
The point is, apart from the fact that the legislator is obviously a mindless busybody with little better to do than think about ways to regulate the smallest details of one痴 personal life, this is an example of mockery of public office, and why some people should be removed from public office if they demonstrate an obvious contempt for the legislative process or fail to take their jobs seriously.
Notice I didn稚 mention demonstrating an obvious contempt for their constituents� intelligence. Sad to say, but if that standard were applied, we壇 have no legislature.
Vincent F. Safuto is a copy editor for the Press Journal. Reach him at Vincent.Safuto@scripps.com.
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